I spent the last few years writing a fantasy series. It’s a five book series and I finished the first drafts for three of the five and was trying to find an agent for the first book. I’ve never had anything published before and thus don’t have much to say about myself when it comes to query letters. Eventually I got discourage and an idea struck me to set aside the series and write something else. So, this summer I wrote a thriller/horror. After reading through it a few times and having Phong read through it, I finally put together a query and synopsis and sent it off to the first (of possibly many) publisher.
I always have this emotional dip once I’ve sent away a query because at that point it’s just completely out of my hands. All I can do is look for more potential publishers to query and hope for the best.
I’m rereading the first book of my fantasy series again to do some fine tuning and trimming. It’s really interesting to read it after so long, and so many other projects, and I’m relieved that I still like it. I’m really hoping to get it together in a way that will make it more desirable to publishers. Trying to get published has been an experience all its own. I know how to finish a story, how to plan one and get it done. I love writing and for the most part, I feel pretty confident in it. But having to look at your writing with the thought of publishing it, having to send out to agents and publishers and get prewritten rejection letters or nothing at all, makes you question everything. It makes you question your dream, your talent and your skill.
I think, before query letters and synopsis writing, it’s still just a dream. It’s a story you write and it’s a dream of being publish someday with no thought of how to get there. It’s just daydreams of writing and covers and maybe even getting to sign your own book. The dream feels safe until you actually start reaching for it. Once those query letters go out, the dream is exposed. It’s not safe. It’s real and when you don’t get the feedback you want the only thing you can do is turn a critical eye on your work and try to improve it.
I find some strength in that thought. The only choices left to me when I’m disappointed is to improve my own work or to give up the dream. I don’t want to let it go. I love sculpting stories and writing them and I’m so hungry to have those stories read by other people.
Here’s hoping things pick up!