Hopes High

The publisher I’m planning to send my book to only takes submissions three months out of the year. This has created an interesting issue in that I have been ready to send it off to them for the past two months. I gave Vain (said book) another read through on the computer, printed it and read it through once more in an attempt to catch any mistakes I missed and anything I no longer liked.

I wrote this book in 2011, I think. I have since written the two following books, an urban fantasy that needs some serious polishing and then, this last summer, a post-apocalyptic zombie story (in an attempt to try something different). So, to go back and reread Vain after all of those was actually really fun and there were definitely some things I caught that I don’t think I would have seen at all a few years ago.

Printing it out and reading it on paper was also incredibly useful. I realized that when I was editing the zombie book. I feel like I catch a lot more mistakes, or just words used to closely to one another, on paper that I somehow missed when reading on my computer.

Back to the pending query though, I am getting really anxious. I’ve sent Vanity in Dust (affectionately called Vain) to a handful of agents over the years and, obviously, had no luck. I came across World Weaver Press a while back when I was entertaining the idea of writing short stories (turns out that short is not my skill). They are absolutely everything I ever wanted. Personal, professional, socially available and competent. Plus, their covers are lovely. It’s petty but come on, who doesn’t care?

The problem? The time I have had to build up the hope of being a part of this publishing group. Hope is as dangerous as it is powerful. I want it. I would usually avoid even talking about it for fear of how I’ll feel when it passes me by, but that’s not very honest. The truth is that I want to be published. I want to be heard. And I want this publisher to be the publisher and this year to be the year.

So, there’s a bit of honesty and a glimpse at the inner wants of a writer not yet author.

Someday.

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