Published!

Vanity in Dust is officially published!

I’m supposed to just say that I’m crazy happy and scream/giggle a lot but let’s be honesty–authors are usually a mixed bag when it comes to emotions. The week leading up to today, I was a mild wreck. I had trouble sleeping and focusing. I threw myself into any basic project or task I could get my hands on and watched unreasonable amounts of drama to distract myself. I even cleaned. I was outright twitchy.

Vanity in Dust was a labor of love and obsession and it’s now my first published novel. I was equal parts happy and terrified.

The week before today, before publication day, I was hit by this tidal wave of doubt that I was not prepared for. I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t expect it. But it showed up and I did everything I could to ignore it. I ran hard from that wave and pulled every trick from my bag to avoid sinking under it. And then, just as suddenly as it came, it was gone. Sometime yesterday, I stopped being anxious. I stopped worrying. I think it was the inevitability of today–that it was finally upon me and I had made it–that brought this calm.

Turns out, publishing is like getting to the top of a mountain that a part of you was never really willing to believe you’d be able to climb. Or at least, it was for me. I have this pessimistic voice in my heart that I try hard to ignore, but it’s always there, whispering to keep me from getting too hyped or too dependent on something. It warned me, even though everything was set and ready, that there’s always someone waiting to pull the rug out from underfoot.

Well, fuck the pessimist because today I’m published!

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Turning 30

I spent my twenties in love. I hope to spend every decade of my life in love, but if there was a highlight to my twenties—if someone asked me, “Hey, what did you do with that decade?” the answer would be, “I chased love and I caught it and I ate it and now it’s all mine”.

I am not an accomplished person by any conventional means. And I’m not sorry about that, not even a little. Even when I was a kid, my only aspirations were to fall in love and write books.

I dabbled in a community college and managed to come out a florist. Who does that? I moved to Sweden, because that’s where my love lived and, well, Sweden is awesome. Okay, it wasn’t awesome at first because being a foreigner is hard. I started going to the gym and trying new food for the first time in my life. I went vegetarian. I learned Swedish. I traveled. I got dual citizenship. I moved to the Arctic Circle. And I got married.

That was my twenties. Not bad, right? I mean, I don’t have a degree in anything or a career, but shit, I love my life. That’s the point, isn’t it? So, I’m not worried about my thirties. Or about being thirty. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel…uncomfortable. I have a lot of books I want to write, want to publish and see out in the world, so in that arena of my life I feel like I’m behind. It’s hard not to acknowledge time passed when you hit a decade marker.

But in four days my first novel, Vanity in Dust, is going to be published.

Not a bad note to start my thirties on, right?

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Pantser VS Plotter

Okay, so there’s generally two camps in writing (there’s a lot of middle ground here, but these are the general groups). A panster is a writer that writes “by the seat of their pants”. Kind of unfair term because many have a plan, but they don’t have an outline. They write what comes to them in the story, finding their way to the end.

A plotter is, exactly what it sounds like, a writer who plots. Yes, all writers plot, but these are the ones that have an outline before they start writing their book.

I used to be a pantser and then accidentally became a plotter. No joke, it just happened. While writing Vanity in Dust, I had all these ideas for the next books in the series. I wouldn’t let myself start another one until the first was done, so I just kept notes for the other books. When I was ready to write book 2, I took a look at my notes and started moving things around into the right order and adding scenes where I needed more and, in the end, had a complete outline.

I decided to try the nanowrimo method and give myself a daily word count goal and just write it–from one scene to the next, down the outline until I was done. 95k in a month.

I’ve done this four more times since and it works for me. I obsess about an idea for a while, thinking it over and making notes that are anywhere from paragraphs of detail and dialogue to “something here”. Some scenes do develop organically while I’m writing, adding to the outline here and there after the daily writing, and others come out exactly as I planned. But, because I have an outline, I never get stuck thinking about what I should do next and inevitably on twitter or watching Killjoys.

Plotting works for me, but that’s not to say the pantser method doesn’t work for others.

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NYC Food Adventures

We were in New York City for a handful of days in January this year and tried some great food. Here’s our favorites!

To know: We’re vegetarian. The regular kind. No meat but yes please to dairy and eggs.

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Bare Burger

BareBurger was great! It’s a burger chain. Super cute restaurant if you want to sit in and eat. We took ours to our hotel room because it was super close and pretty much scarfed everything down so fast that I barely got a picture.

They had a bunch of choices for burgers from patties (meaty meaty ones if you prefer!) to sauces. We also got fries, onion rings, brussel sprouts, and a bunch of dips. There were also milkshakes but they didn’t make it into a picture.

 

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Mökbar

Find it. Eat it. Do it. It’s in Chelsea Market and crazy busy and loud but it’s so worth it!IMG_6650

Phong is always on the hunt for noodles and was really pleased with these ones.

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Dumplings! I am such a sucker for dumplings. I could eat them all day long. I have before.

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And while Phong was after the noodles, I was after these. Disco fries. DISCO FRIES. French fries in a RAMEN GRAVY with kimchi on top! This was the first time I ate fries with chopsticks and have realized that if you don’t need to eat your fries with chopsticks, your fries are missing something–ramen gravy and kimchi. This was one of my favorite eats on the whole trip.

 

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The Cinnamon Snail

All vegan! I know, I was skeptical too, but while vegetarian isn’t always vegan, vegan is always vegetarian, and we love a restaurant with more than one thing we can order!

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There were also doughnuts in this mix, to be found in the previous blog post…

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My burger had jalapeno macaroni and cheese on it! And no, I have no idea what it was since it obviously couldn’t be actual cheese (vegan), but I don’t ask how the wizard does his magic. I just eat it.

 

 

 

 

 

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Phong’s burger was called a Sage burger and, I’ll admit, it was better than mine. Though I love the idea of jalapeno macaroni and cheese, it was the kind of hot that stains your mouth and makes other flavors impossible to taste.

Don’t get me wrong though, I ate the whole thing happily, but I also stole a couple bites of Phong’s.

 

 

More posts to come! Likely food related. Why is that all I take pictures of? I have more pictures of cake than I do of my own face. But let’s be honest, would you rather see 10 cakes or 10 pictures of my face? It’s cake right? I don’t blame you, I pick cakes too. <3

 

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Doughnuts in New York City!

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Doughnuts! It’s taken me six months but here’s a post from our US trip and it’s all about doughnuts!
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While in the States we visited NYC for the first time and of course had to try some doughnuts. Honestly, wherever you go, you should probably try some doughnuts.

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The Doughtnuttery makes these tiny little doughnuts and then tosses them in flavored sugar. Yummy and adorable but doesn’t exactly hit the doughnut craving spot.

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Dough Doughnuts was legit. Huge gooey doughnuts with the super soft fluffy dough.

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Phong loves all things coconut so he had no trouble choosing.

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Mine was so gooey it almost wouldn’t photograph.

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And lastly was Cinnamon Snail. All vegan but amazing! That raspberry chocolate beast there was mine and it was epic! Obviously, the toasted coconut one is Phong’s and the almond we ended up with because of a misunderstanding. All doughnut misunderstandings that result in MORE doughnuts are 100% okay.

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That’s Phong eating the shit out of my doughnut. Look how angry he looks! It’s so good it makes you angry. Who knew a vegan place would bring out our inner beasts?

More NYC food posts to come! <3

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