Published!

Vanity in Dust is officially published!

I’m supposed to just say that I’m crazy happy and scream/giggle a lot but let’s be honesty–authors are usually a mixed bag when it comes to emotions. The week leading up to today, I was a mild wreck. I had trouble sleeping and focusing. I threw myself into any basic project or task I could get my hands on and watched unreasonable amounts of drama to distract myself. I even cleaned. I was outright twitchy.

Vanity in Dust was a labor of love and obsession and it’s now my first published novel. I was equal parts happy and terrified.

The week before today, before publication day, I was hit by this tidal wave of doubt that I was not prepared for. I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t expect it. But it showed up and I did everything I could to ignore it. I ran hard from that wave and pulled every trick from my bag to avoid sinking under it. And then, just as suddenly as it came, it was gone. Sometime yesterday, I stopped being anxious. I stopped worrying. I think it was the inevitability of today–that it was finally upon me and I had made it–that brought this calm.

Turns out, publishing is like getting to the top of a mountain that a part of you was never really willing to believe you’d be able to climb. Or at least, it was for me. I have this pessimistic voice in my heart that I try hard to ignore, but it’s always there, whispering to keep me from getting too hyped or too dependent on something. It warned me, even though everything was set and ready, that there’s always someone waiting to pull the rug out from underfoot.

Well, fuck the pessimist because today I’m published!

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Turning 30

I spent my twenties in love. I hope to spend every decade of my life in love, but if there was a highlight to my twenties—if someone asked me, “Hey, what did you do with that decade?” the answer would be, “I chased love and I caught it and I ate it and now it’s all mine”.

I am not an accomplished person by any conventional means. And I’m not sorry about that, not even a little. Even when I was a kid, my only aspirations were to fall in love and write books.

I dabbled in a community college and managed to come out a florist. Who does that? I moved to Sweden, because that’s where my love lived and, well, Sweden is awesome. Okay, it wasn’t awesome at first because being a foreigner is hard. I started going to the gym and trying new food for the first time in my life. I went vegetarian. I learned Swedish. I traveled. I got dual citizenship. I moved to the Arctic Circle. And I got married.

That was my twenties. Not bad, right? I mean, I don’t have a degree in anything or a career, but shit, I love my life. That’s the point, isn’t it? So, I’m not worried about my thirties. Or about being thirty. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel…uncomfortable. I have a lot of books I want to write, want to publish and see out in the world, so in that arena of my life I feel like I’m behind. It’s hard not to acknowledge time passed when you hit a decade marker.

But in four days my first novel, Vanity in Dust, is going to be published.

Not a bad note to start my thirties on, right?

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Returning

Okay, I’ve been away for a while. We did a long vacation in the States to visit family and do a little honeymooning. We were mostly in Northern California but did a little adventure to New York. Expect blog posts to catch up! For the Redwoods, Scandinavain Air with travel tips and my hatred of airplane food, New York, my 8 hour hair coloring experience, the Jelly Belly Factory and Monterey to list a few.

We had a great time and are nestled at home in Kiruna once more!

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IKEA!

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After living in Sweden for six years I finally, for the first time ever, went to an IKEA!

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I had no idea IKEA was so much fun! I did, although, know that Phong would be crazy entertaining wherever I happened to take him.

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Here he is trying out the stability of a bed for pull ups. He still talks about this bed, by the way.

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He leafed through magazines, lounged on couches and even tested every tablet he came across–just in case it actually worked.

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He spent a couple minutes tidying up the umbrellas. We were here for hours!

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Lunch time at IKEA! I had no idea how great this place was.

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Do all IKEA cafeterias have these adorable tray carts? I love them so much! We didn’t really need to take a cart, we were three adults, but come on!

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I also loved the conveyor belt that takes away your dishes! I wish my kitchen had one of these..

Phong and I are playing with the idea of an IKEA weekend, like a vacation, but we’ll go to IKEA instead of the beach or a cabin.

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We got married!

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On June 23rd Phong and I got married!

We’d been together for 11 years. 5 years in a long distance relationship, he in Sweden and me in California, and then 6 years together in Sweden.

We met on a writing website and I just adored his work! I was so in love with his writing that I started an msn (that’s how long ago it was) just to talk to him. We talked every day since.

We spent quite a bit of time trying to decide how to go about our wedding since most of his family lives in the south of Sweden and we live in the uber north. And, of course, my family lives in the States.

We didn’t want anyone to have to travel for us so, instead, we decided to do the traveling! We got married in Umeå; a small ceremony with our close family there. Later we went down to Skåne to celebrate with the rest of Phong’s family and in December/January we’re going to California to celeberate with mine!

 

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The ceremony wasn’t until 4 in the afternoon so Linn and I went out for a morning fika, bought flowers at the market and came home to put my bouquet together.

Linn was amazing! She did my hair, spraying each and every curl so that they were solid and curly for days. She made sure I got there on time and took a million beautiful pictures! Pretty much all of the ones in this blog. Except for that one to the right. That one was mine! Oh, and when we took one of these pictures together, her hair got stuck in my headband.

Phong and I had a civil ceremony at one of the city buildings in the center of Umeå, my very favorite city.

It was beautiful out! It had rained just before, which I was told was good luck, and a pigeon pooped on my father-in-law’s bag, which, turns out, also good luck! I’m starting to suspect that some very clever person just started telling brides and grooms that bad things were good luck to calm them down.

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It was perfect. It was small and stress-free and happy and we had a wonderful day.

Phong’s jacket was AMAZING. Let’s all just take a minute to consider his outfit and how fantastic is is. Those shoes!

After the wedding we had dinner at Sagami in Umeå. I’ll do a post about that next followed by the rest of our travels this summer!

And, of course, here’s a cake picture because how often do I post something without a picture of food?

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