My firsts goals in writing were to finish my books and be published. I’ll never be done finishing books, because there’s always another one waiting to be written, but this year my first book was published.
So, what do the rest of my author goals look like at the moment?
See my book on a store shelf. I get excited whenever I see Vanity in Dust anywhere. I’m sure I’ll have a full on giggle fit when I see it on a store shelf.
Finish the Crowns & Ash series. I can’t wait to get to that ending! I have the second and third written and the fourth and fifth outlined.
Science Fiction! I want to publish a scifi series. Space ships, high tech adventure, pirates, maddening viruses and androids! I have the roughest rough draft of the first book waiting in line to be revised and I am so excited that I dream about it.
Fanfiction! It would be a real “achievement unlocked” moment for me if anyone was ever so interested and invested in one of my worlds that they would write a fanfic for it. And the stranger the better.
Write enough books that I can start doing hilarious dedications. I love funny dedications! But I have a list of people I want to sincerely dedicate books to that I should probably get through first.
Publish horror novels. I like writing scary books and would love to see some of those published too.
I’m sure there’s more but maybe that’s enough for right now. We’ll see how many more I come up with in another year.
Vanity in Dust is officially published!
I’m supposed to just say that I’m crazy happy and scream/giggle a lot but let’s be honesty–authors are usually a mixed bag when it comes to emotions. The week leading up to today, I was a mild wreck. I had trouble sleeping and focusing. I threw myself into any basic project or task I could get my hands on and watched unreasonable amounts of drama to distract myself. I even cleaned. I was outright twitchy.
Vanity in Dust was a labor of love and obsession and it’s now my first published novel. I was equal parts happy and terrified.
The week before today, before publication day, I was hit by this tidal wave of doubt that I was not prepared for. I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t expect it. But it showed up and I did everything I could to ignore it. I ran hard from that wave and pulled every trick from my bag to avoid sinking under it. And then, just as suddenly as it came, it was gone. Sometime yesterday, I stopped being anxious. I stopped worrying. I think it was the inevitability of today–that it was finally upon me and I had made it–that brought this calm.
Turns out, publishing is like getting to the top of a mountain that a part of you was never really willing to believe you’d be able to climb. Or at least, it was for me. I have this pessimistic voice in my heart that I try hard to ignore, but it’s always there, whispering to keep me from getting too hyped or too dependent on something. It warned me, even though everything was set and ready, that there’s always someone waiting to pull the rug out from underfoot.
Well, fuck the pessimist because today I’m published!
I spent my twenties in love. I hope to spend every decade of my life in love, but if there was a highlight to my twenties—if someone asked me, “Hey, what did you do with that decade?” the answer would be, “I chased love and I caught it and I ate it and now it’s all mine”.
I am not an accomplished person by any conventional means. And I’m not sorry about that, not even a little. Even when I was a kid, my only aspirations were to fall in love and write books.
I dabbled in a community college and managed to come out a florist. Who does that? I moved to Sweden, because that’s where my love lived and, well, Sweden is awesome. Okay, it wasn’t awesome at first because being a foreigner is hard. I started going to the gym and trying new food for the first time in my life. I went vegetarian. I learned Swedish. I traveled. I got dual citizenship. I moved to the Arctic Circle. And I got married.
That was my twenties. Not bad, right? I mean, I don’t have a degree in anything or a career, but shit, I love my life. That’s the point, isn’t it? So, I’m not worried about my thirties. Or about being thirty. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel…uncomfortable. I have a lot of books I want to write, want to publish and see out in the world, so in that arena of my life I feel like I’m behind. It’s hard not to acknowledge time passed when you hit a decade marker.
But in four days my first novel, Vanity in Dust, is going to be published.
Not a bad note to start my thirties on, right?
Okay, I’ve been away for a while. We did a long vacation in the States to visit family and do a little honeymooning. We were mostly in Northern California but did a little adventure to New York. Expect blog posts to catch up! For the Redwoods, Scandinavain Air with travel tips and my hatred of airplane food, New York, my 8 hour hair coloring experience, the Jelly Belly Factory and Monterey to list a few.
We had a great time and are nestled at home in Kiruna once more!
After living in Sweden for six years I finally, for the first time ever, went to an IKEA!
I had no idea IKEA was so much fun! I did, although, know that Phong would be crazy entertaining wherever I happened to take him.
Here he is trying out the stability of a bed for pull ups. He still talks about this bed, by the way.
He leafed through magazines, lounged on couches and even tested every tablet he came across–just in case it actually worked.
He spent a couple minutes tidying up the umbrellas. We were here for hours!
Lunch time at IKEA! I had no idea how great this place was.
Do all IKEA cafeterias have these adorable tray carts? I love them so much! We didn’t really need to take a cart, we were three adults, but come on!
I also loved the conveyor belt that takes away your dishes! I wish my kitchen had one of these..
Phong and I are playing with the idea of an IKEA weekend, like a vacation, but we’ll go to IKEA instead of the beach or a cabin.