1. You use large mugs for bowls.
2. You feel like you’re being sneaky when you buy liquor or lottery cards. That anxious smile usually gets you carded.
3. You shout “boobs” and point at the screen when they’re in a movie/show. And then wait expectantly for a dick to show up only to be particularly peeved when there is no male nudity AT ALL.
4. All of your band-aids have adorable cartoon characters on them and you don’t have children.
5. You would rather eat cookies than drink wine.
6. You own complicated board games.
7. Your dishes don’t match.
8. You don’t use a top sheet because it just makes making the bed more complicated.
9. You wash and dry your comforter inside the cover so as to avoid putting it back in later.
10. Sometimes you don’t want to bother with a bowl and spoon so you just put a handful of cereal in your mouth and then drink some milk for breakfast. You may have also done this with cookies.